Help with bonding with my african grey

[tigerlover]

i brought a male african grey called charlie from pet shop, he was a womans bird but she had to get rid of him due to no pets allowed in flat. I am so nervous as i suffer anxiety so scared in case he bites, but he tends to go to my partner more than me and it upsets me as i love charlie and want him to trust me, i dont know what to do, im not rushing him i talk to him alot and give him treats, and he says morning mummy. But how can we both stop feeling nervous as i know he wants to bond with me. charlie is 7 years old he has so much character and is a sweet boy. we have only had him a week and a half. my partner can stroke him and tickle him but sometimes does accept partner and sometimes dont, i tell my partner to go slow, dont rush him, thats why he shows he has had enough. I tell charlie i love him and wont hurt him as he shakes when i go near him so i sing to him. any ideas so i dont feel nervous. i will post some pics of charlie soon.

[judygram]

You have only had him for 10 days tops and that is not near long enough for him to start trusting you and especially since he is 7 years old. It takes an older grey longer than a baby. You need to stop being so nervous when you are around him since he picks up on that and reacts to it, greys are very sensitive to our emotions and if he senses fear then he is more likely to bite.

He has taken a liking to your partner and that is typical of greys to sometimes pick one person to be their favorite and that doesn't mean you are left out in the cold it just means you will have a different relationship with Charlie than your partner. You may never come to do the things that your partner does with him and if you can accept that then it will go better for you.

You need to pay close attention to his body language for it will tell you when a bite may be coming but you have to respect Charlie's wishes if he wants you to leave him alone.

Since he can't be trusted both of you should not allow him on your shoulders or anywhere near your face but one thing you can do if you think a bite is coming is to ball your hand up into a fist and offer the back of your hand, for instance if asking him to step up, he won't be able to get a good grip because the skin will be tighter.

But face it, if you are going to live with a grey then you must realize that you will get bitten at some time or another, no one likes it but it is part of living with birds so try to get over it if possible, its not the worse thing that can happen.

Why don't you introduce yourself in the welcome room and tell us some more about you and Charlie.

[danmcq]

tigerlover wrote:

any ideas so i dont feel nervous.

Yes, just relax (You control you emotions) and let your new Grey be himself and come to you when he feels comfortable with it. Visible shaking means he is fearful and you certainly do not want to get within his comfort space.

He will come around to you on his on terms and time.

If you just let that intense desire go, you will relax and he will relax. They are VERY intuitive and can sense your emotions.

Judy gave you EXCELLENT advice. :-)

Looking forward to those photos.

[SpiritofMusic]

My Grey Waldo is 15 yrs old and we've had him since late june. He hasn't stepped up yet and doesn't let anyone touch him much. I don't know what to do!! Please Help!!!

[domyoburk]

Any positive interactions at all with Waldo? What does he like? (Treats, sitting on top of his cage, investigating a favorite toy, calling back and forth with you or some music?)

Stepping up and allowing touch are two very familiar (meaning intimate, demanding) interactions with a bird; it's the first thing we humans expect from them but are actually something most are only inclined to do when they feel a very deep trust for and bond with you.

So building that trust and bond have to start with much more subtle things...

[Wallace]

We got our african grey 3 days ago , he is 3yrs old and will not say much to my partner but will speak to me when I go near the cage, he repeats phrases he has obviously learned from previous owner such as "good boy". He will not allow me to put my hand any where near him but has allowed my other half to and has stepped on to his hand but wont talk to him, we are assuming it is just going to take time and patience to get him to trust us, we think he lost trust with the previous owners, they fed him a poor diet, did not interact and kept him in a draft so when we got him on Tuesday he has a cold (poor baby) we took him to the vet and he has antibiotics for his water and we are vitamin supplementing his food while trying to get him off sunflower seeds, he could just be aggressive cos he is not feeling well either, just wanted to get peoples opinions - is all the talking a good thing??

[luvparrots]

Talking is a very good thing and talking back to him is excellent. I think it's great that you are going at your new grey's pace with lots of love and patience!